My heart was heavy, there was a different kind of silence, it was deafening. Everything was spic and span. T.V. remote at its place, shoes in rack, no half drank glasses on the table, mess free study corner, shining upholstery and a pin drop silence as I entered home, which was now nothing more than concrete walls. I went further, kept my bag and keys on the side table. I had a lump in my throat. I wanted someone to call me “ Mummy, meri shirt nahi mil rahi “( I can’t find my shirt ), “ Mummy, “kuch acha bana do” , Mummy aaj pata hai kya hua” but there was no one to call. My eyes were filled with tears that I had been controlling since I had dropped him but it came rolling as I saw his picture.
In all these years I had forgotten if I was anything else, anything other than mother to my kid. I didn’t know the empty nest syndrome was so real. I didn’t knew how to handle the absence of my kid, my home without him, who has now moved to boarding for further studies, for better opportunities. While he was doing his preparations, he often use to pull my leg saying “ Mumma, good times on way, ab apka peech chutta”, no screaming in the house, no calling mummy all day and after listening to him I use to do the fun dance. But now that he left, I was questioning my existence. But this is how one will react if all life, a person would have been is just a mother to her kids. I remember no other thing than nurturing him, feeding him, handling his tantrums, fulfilling his demands, dropping and picking him from his coaching. Suddenly there was a full stop to it. My chick was all grown up now and ready to spread his wings. I knew he will not be in my laps forever, but the transition was hard to absorb. I was a stay-at- home mom, who left her job to be around his kid. And now that he was all grown up and left home to make his life, I didn’t know what to do with mine. When he went to boarding, I use to call him every evening, I went to meet him often, but boarding schools have their own rules and my kid had its own schedule. I was happy that after initial hiccups he was settled there. But I felt like a missing piece. Read More
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